i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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