So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I met the friendliest cop last night
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
