this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
