I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I need a beard to bite.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
