And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
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