Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
