Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
