tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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