well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
we're making bets on your personal life
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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