went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
it's like heaven, but drunker
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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