I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
just tell him i said nine months
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
