Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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