He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
