I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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