i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Randomize
