we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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