I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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