That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
