dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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