please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
