just come out here and I will go home with you...
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
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