I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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