We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Randomize
