if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
