i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
