Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
is it fun? or sober?
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