Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
