i just sent this text using only my big toe
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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