im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
