She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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