I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
sex in a hospital.. check
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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