Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
