Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
