ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
