im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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