I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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