and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I woke up under a house in Key West
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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