There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
