Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
