porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
