What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
