K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
