i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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