I can't watch pbs sober anymore
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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