Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
