nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
the liver wants what the liver wants
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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