How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I could fuck to npr.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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