I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
