Apparently you make a good broom.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
