Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
She even gives head with a lisp.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
