So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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