you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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