In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
