im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
