y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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