3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
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