I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize