Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
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