Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
