Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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