Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize