i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
