If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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