oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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