i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
