It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
