I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
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