haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
